Wow... Can we just say I never thought I would actually make this blog?

I mean to be so public about such a private family matter is such a huge jump for me.

This is me. A 24 year old woman, Wife to the man I cant imagine my life without,  Mother to one of the most beautiful , outgoing ,Thill seeking, loveable little autistic boys I would be lost without. Daughter to a wounderful momma and dad. And many other things.

 And yet . Here I am. A massivly obese woman that plainly.. Is scared to death of this. I know that if this dosnt change I will be killed because of this weight. And yet. I cant seem to stop thinking about food.

 I mean here I sit after just working a 8 hour night. And on my way home I went to wendys. Why cant I stop? What is it about this thing called food that I cant seem to get straight? Well thats why Im doing this. With me starting this blog I think it will give me an out other eating. To maybe just maybe get a support group other then those around me outside of the computer.

I have only told my bestfriends and family. To me that is all that needs to know. No one but my boss knows at work. And trust me I suck at keeping secrets. To me it kinda seems like I failed. But I can honestly say Ive tried everything to lose this weight. Nothing is working and it seems to only be getting worse.

So here I am on day 1 of this blog. I dont know if any of my family or friends will read this sooner or later but here I am. Take it or leave it.

Back in mid nov of last year I started the porcess of getting surgery. I have picked my Dr. Met most of the staff and found out everything I need to do to get approval from my insurance company. From what I know I have made all of the apts I need and have the support of my family dr. Tomorrow I go in for the first of many dr. Apts . The dietian(sp?) . And going in for my 2nd outta 3 weigh ins befor work. Not looking forward to either to tell the truth. But I will do what ever I have to for this.

I am making myself, This blog, And everyone that reads it that I will keep everyone up to date and let everyone into my mind trew this process. Cant always promise it will make sense but it will be real. Another promise is I will track my weight on here. Think this is something more scarry to me then skydiving. And Man oh man I will never be caught dead skydiving.

So here I go. Putting on my big girl underoos and gonna end this one off with ................

252....